Jeff Rigged It

I CAN’T SHAKE THIS SINKING FEELING WITHIN ME, THE CONSTANT NAGGING WHISPER THAT TELLS ME I AM SURROUNDED BY TRAITORS AND PERPETRATORS OF DECEIT. EVERY TRIVIA NIGHT, EVERY GAME OF JEOPARDY, EVERY QUESTION UTTERED BY THOSE I HOLD DEAR FEELS LIKE A CRUEL SNIPE. THEY MAY BE PRETEND TO BE ASKING ABOUT THE CAPITAL OF ASSYRIA, BUT I CAN HEAR WHAT THEY’RE REALLY SAYING…

“A REAL MAN WOULDN’T HAVE ACCEPTED SUCH A BLATANT ATTACK ON SOMETHING THEY HOLD DEAR” — “WHY CAN’T YOU TAKE A STAND AGAINST THOSE CONSPIRING AGAINST YOU?” — “WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?”

… IT’S AS IF THE WORLD IS CONSPIRING AGAINST ME, AND THOSE WHOM I ONCE TRUSTED HAVE BECOME THE ARCHITECTS OF MY DEMISE.